Have you seen the movie The Time Traveler’s Wife? The story revolves around the relationship between a young woman and a guy who can travel through time. The catch is that he cannot control when he travels. This really presents a serious problem for their relationship.
Another major catch—at least it would be for me—is that he always arrives naked at his destination.
Brrrr, yipes, ouch, and a whole lot of other expletives. This would be a major bummer.
I’ve spent quite a bit of time contemplating the idea of traveling through time, mostly because I love reading books that involve time travel. Not the H.G. Wells type, though. I’m talking romance. The kind where the heroine is vacationing in Scotland, steps into a patch of grass while hiking off the beaten path in the Highlands, and ends up in a medieval castle. Naturally, she’s saved from her predicament by a handsome warrior who happens to be the leader of his clan and they live happily ever after.
I vacationed in Scotland many years ago, before I developed my fascination with this genre of book. Obviously, I made it back and didn’t step into any mysterious hidey holes while I was there. Good thing, too, because if I were going to travel through time like the guy in the movie or the heroine in the book, I would most definitely want to pack a suitcase to bring with me.
This would be non-negotiable. There are things a girl’s just got to have regardless of the time period. With this in mind, here’s my list of my time travel must haves:
- M&Ms. Chocolate didn’t make its way over to Europe until sometime in the 1500s and wasn’t around in medieval times. A world without chocolate? I believe they call that H-E-double toothpicks. I’m not going anywhere without my little candy-coated pieces of chocolate perfection.
- Advil. I know they used herbs and all that natural stuff for whatever ailed them, but why bother when I can just bring my handy bottle of Advil with me?
- Toothpaste/Toothbrush/Floss. Dental hygiene left something to be desired back then. I’ve grown kind of partial to my teeth and prefer to keep them as long as possible.
- Amazon Kindle. There’s only so many times you can read Beowulf.
- Razor. Just not into the whole hairy beast au naturel thing.
- Deodorant and deodorant soap. People actually thought bathing during the winter months could kill them. What?! I know everyone else would be incredibly smelly, but I don’t think I could stand smelling myself 24/7 without a little help from Johnson & Johnson.
- Ipod. Because there just isn’t enough screaming guitar in Gregorian chant.
- Tampons. No explanation required.
- Cross-Trainers. The mode of transportation was horse or foot. If you’re going to do all that walking, you need more than a piece of fabric covering your feet.
- Underwear. Again, no explanation required.
I asked the Big Man what he would pack in his suitcase. At first he wouldn’t even consider the question because the idea of a world without television and sports was just too frightening. Eventually, he acquiesced and, not surprisingly, his packing list is a bit different from mine:
- Toilet paper.
- Pizza delivery.
- Golf clubs.
- The current issue of every sports magazine in publication.
What would you pack in your suitcase?