Ladies, are you feeling a little less “perky” than you used to? Have the Doublemint twins lowered their expectations? Is south the new north when it comes to your personal landscape?
There comes a point in life where you have to stop and ask yourself “How far am I willing to go to take a dip in the fountain of youth?”
I asked myself this question a while back and decided my final destination was somewhere between “I’m staying home because I love the sags, bags, wrinkles, aches and pains of aging” and “When does the space shuttle depart because I’m headed to the final frontier.”
With this spirit of adventure urging me on, I leapt into action after seeing a commercial for The Strapper on TV. It’s the “original bra strap solution” that promises to “lift and support” and eliminate straps from showing when wearing clothing with slim cut shoulders or criss-cross straps.
They make it look so easy to slide The Strapper into place and adjust it so that it sits as high or low on your back as you want. After trying it myself, I came to the conclusion that the model must be both double-jointed and ambidextrous. It’s not easy to put this thing in place. I had do my best imitation of a contortionist to try to get the straps around the little tabs on this contraption. Then, when I tried to slide it down, the straps slipped out! Uuggghhhhh!
Once I finally had the device firmly in place, I have to admit, the twins were taking a walk down memory lane. They were so thrilled to relive their glory days that they insisted on entering rooms before me. Stand and salute become their motto.
After a few hours of wearing this little miracle maker, however, I began to get a headache. When worn for its gravity defying abilities, The Straper pulls straps so tight that they dig into your shoulders. The Strapper went from being a wonder under to an albatross in the course of a day.
If you just want to get your straps out of the way because of the cut of your top or dress, you can loosen the straps before attaching The Strapper and avoid the whole headache thing. I used this method with a dress I wore to a wedding and it worked just fine.
The lesson here…everything comes with a price. How much are you willing to pay?
Chickaliciousness: 4 for firm support