Make a “lashing” impression with false eyelashes

October 28, 2010

Everyone seems to be wearing false eyelashes these days. From the Real Housewives to Dancing with the Stars contestants, lashes are taking center stage. I even saw someone wearing them on a show called the Ultimate Cake Off. Well, if they’re good enough for a dessert chef, then they’re good enough for me.

My own lashes have served me well for years. They have soldiered on through experiments with colored, eye brightening, color enhancing, lengthening, thickening, and non-clumping mascaras. They’ve survived daily harassment from eyelash curlers, cotton balls and makeup remover. They’ve batted their way though romance novels and coyly flirted on dates. A male coworker many years ago even nicknamed me Elsie after the cow that graced Borden’s milk cartons. NOOOO! He was not referring to my girth! He was referring to my eyes, which he thought were large and (I assume) adequately lashed.

See, Elsie had BIG eyes!

But, after noticing that you can’t swing a stuffed, politically correct, faux fur cat without hitting someone sporting falsies (lashes, that is), I decided to give it a try. What have I got to lose, right? (more on this later)

For my venture into glamour gal land, I bought Salon Perfect’s Perma-Lashes. The starter kit comes with 56 little clumps of lashes that you glue onto your own less than dazzling fringe. The clumps come in 3 lengths which I like to call “Hello, Sailor”, “Good morning, what’s your name again?” and “Hey baby, for $50 I’ll rock your world.” And the helpful instructions tell you how to achieve just the right look for you.

  • For easy lash extensions: apply 10-15 Perma-Lashes per eye
  • To use as accents: apply 3-5 Perma-Lashes to the outer corners only
  • To fill in gaps: apply only where needed

At first I thought I would just put them on the outer corners for a bit of an exotic look. But once I got started, I couldn’t stop myself. These things are addictive! 30 lashes with a glue-tipped clump for everyone!

These natural lashes just won't do. You can't even see the blond tips!

The first few clumps are glued on. This could get interesting.

Beware the One-Eyed Chick!

It's raining lashes!

I felt like I needed to take my lashes out on a date. The Big Man was off at yet another football game, so my lashes and I went shopping instead. We paraded ourselves up and down the aisles at several local stores just waiting for someone to notice and say “my, what big eyes you have, my dear.”

Look at that Chick with the long, lustrous lashes!

Didn’t happen.

When the Big Man got home from his game, I batted my big browns at him expecting a reaction. He reacted, but “You look like you have Daddy Longlegs on your eyes,” is not the one I was hoping for.

Maybe they aren’t as fabulous as I thought. Perhaps a subtle application of some eyeliner will make a difference?

Lashvira, Mistress of the Eye

Though the package claims the lashes will last for weeks, I found that some of them didn’t last through a face wash. However, some of them did. These tenacious little clumps refused to come off even after several liberal applications of the enclosed LashFree Remover. I ended up with two clumps stuck in the middle of my left eye and three on the right. They finally came off, but a few of my real lashes were sacrificed in the making of this blog post.

After the battle: the few, the proud, the false eyelashes.

Can we observe a moment of silence, please, for my lost lashes.

Chickalicousness: 5 for the glam, 0 for the glue

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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Susan Mallery October 29, 2010 at 4:00 pm

On behalf of womankind, I want to thank you for sacrificing your eyelashes to educate us. And so entertainingly!

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Unhip Chick October 29, 2010 at 6:51 pm

Makes me feel like a modern day Sydney Carton, Susan. “It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done…”
Unhip Chick recently posted..Make a “lashing” impression with false eyelashes

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