Gillette Venus Embrace is 5 blades of perfection

October 21, 2010

Did you ever have one of those mornings where you arrived at work and don’t remember actually driving there? Or, how about after you get out of the shower and can’t remember if you washed your hair or not? Some things become so habitual that we do them without thinking.

This can be a problem when sharp instruments are involved. Like razors. Dragging a, um, “razor sharp” razor up your leg on a daily basis can lead to an occasional mishap due to 1) the early hour at which said razor is being employed, and 2) the habitual nature of its use.

In the interest of full disclosure, I must confess that my razor may not “technically” be employed on a daily basis. Depends on what I’m wearing and, you know, if anyone is going to see my albino gams. If there’s not a skirt, dress, or shorts involved in that day’s activities, then hello Grizzly Adams.

Hi, my name is Hairy. Come here often?

In general, however, shaving is a regular part of my routine. So, too, is nicking myself. You’d think that after years of training, I would be able to avoid this kind of injury. I’m a shaver from way back. I didn’t even buckle to the peer pressure of “going Euro” many moons ago when I spent a summer studying in France. Yuck is all I’m gonna say.

Certainly my ability to draw my own blood while scraping a razor up my shin bone cannot be due to operator error, so I always blame the razor. Then the Gillette Venus Embrace razor changed my life. Who knew 5 blades could make such a difference in the whole shaving experience?! It’s a bird; it’s a plane; no, it’s Venus Embrace the Wonder Razor. This thing is maaahrvelous, darlings, simply maaaahrvelous. I don’t think I’ve cut myself even once since I began using it.

Behold the amazing Venus Embrace!

Frankly, at first I thought the idea of five blades was a little over-kill and probably just a marketing gimmick. I mean, we started out with a single blade on Bic disposable razors. Then they introduced a double-bladed razor and it was like, “ooo, won’t I be the smoothest thing since a baby’s bottom.” Until the triple-bladed razors came out. All of the sudden double blades were so much yesterday’s news. I don’t know if a 4-blade women’s razor was ever introduced, but who cares because now we have five.

Just say NO to single and double blade razors!

Venus Embrace features:

So really, why are five blades better than three? I think it’s because those five blades are competing with each other to see who can give the closest shave:

  • Blade 1: Oh, look how close I got it!
  • Blade 2: No way, I’m closer.
  • Blade 3: You guys don’t know anything. I’m so close we’re engaged.
  • Blade 4: Stand aside boys, let the professionals do the work.
  • Blade 5: You all can go home now because I was just awarded the Master Blade prize for shaving achievement.

These blades aren’t lying about the “dramatically close shave.” But I believe Gillette needs to add “much less likely to permanently maim and scar yourself” to their sales pitch. I think people would really go for that kind of marketing slogan, don’t you?

That's five blades of perfection, baby!

Chicklettes, run, don’t walk, don’t stop at Go, don’t collect $200 (unless, of course, someone is actually standing on a corner handing out money; then, by all means, make a brief stop), and go directly to the store and buy Gillette’s Venus Embrace razor. Your legs will stand up and sing the Hallelujah Chorus in gratitude. I can hear mine serenading me right now. Oh, that’s right. It’s a pants day. Sorry legs, no singing until tomorrow.

Chickaliciousness: 5 for five blades

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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Lori Coslet October 29, 2010 at 1:49 pm

I agree, Leslie. Not only are they great, they last longer. I had one I swear lasted a year!!

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Unhip Chick October 29, 2010 at 2:02 pm

I’ve noticed that, too, Lori Ann! I thought it was just me and that I let mine go too long between blade changes. But I just don’t see the need to change it very often when it makes my legs smoothulous.

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