Running Made Easy

September 15, 2010

Running is great for toning, losing weight, and cardiovascular fitness. There are charity runs that help support good causes and running groups to improve your strength and endurance. There are high tech shoes with swooshes you can buy to get the most from your run. Blah blah blah, you get it. Running is a good thing.

I run.

When you think of a runner, you probably think of that elite group of uber fit people you see jogging at the park and along the side of the road. These people are cool. They fly by all toned and thin and actually look good in spandex. They talk about going for a 3-, 5-, and 10-mile run as if it’s no big deal. “Oh yeah, I squeezed in a quick 10 miles before I came to work this morning…”

Yeah, this isn’t me. I don’t look anything like this when I’m out slogging.

I’m not that kind of a runner. I actually slog more than I jog, so I guess you could call me a slogger. I’m so slow, a snail can keep pace with me. But I, too, am part of an elite group you see at the park and on the road. You can’t miss us. We’re the red faced ones hunched over and wheezing for breath. Once, I thought I achieved a runner’s high. Turns out I was just hyperventilating.

My running mate. He usually beats me to the finish line.

Feeling inspired? You, too, can join this elite group. Just try running the Chick way.

  1. Start out by jogging really, really slowly. You need to get those muscles warmed up before going all out.
  2. Uh oh. Is that shoe a bit loose? Stop to retie shoelace.
  3. Jog again.
  4. Intersection ahead. Stop, drop and roll.
  5. Oops! I mean, stop and look both ways 10-12 times before crossing. You never know when traffic might magically appear.
  6. Jog a little more.
  7. Feel a leg cramp coming on? Better stop and stretch.
  8. Jog several yards.
  9. That song is just too slow for this power run. Stop and change tunes on your Ipod.
  10. Jog a few feet.
  11. It’s such a shame those earbuds don’t want to stay in place. Time to stop and adjust for a better fit.
  12. Take a step or two.
  13. Is that street sign new? Better stop and see what it says.
  14. Repeat from the beginning till you reach your desired distance.

Voila, run accomplished. Just imagine how cool everyone will think you are when they learn you’ve taken up running.

Three cheers for you!

You’ll be the envy of all your friends and neighbors, not to mention the passersby on the road.

Just like me.

Chickalicious rating: 5 for all those blah blah benefits; 1 for fun factor

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{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Alyson September 15, 2010 at 7:59 pm

Good to read your blog! I am glad you, the voice of Jane Q. Public is out there writing for me.
This post was very funny, now I definitely feel I have the ability to slog, er, jog with you and not feel completely overwhelmed at my inability to run, unless of course it is to a bowl of M&M’s.
I look forward to reading Unhip Chick!


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